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Posts : 177
Join date : 2013-06-27
 |  Subject: Help Thy Lady !!  Sat Jul 06, 2013 3:06 pm | |
| . Help Thy Lady !! I was on my morning walk in a lovely weather in a park. I was a bit tired and thought of sitting for a while on a bench next to two young ladies. I found these ladies pacifying each other on their MIL sagas. I could understand that, they were complaining on how their MILs try to put them down instead of helping and appreciating. The talk comprised of following dialogues used by MILs on daily basis:
"We raised 4 children, you gals of modern age can't even do one ??"
"We did XYZ.. , why cant you?"
"We didnot face any of such problems in pregnancy, I dont understand why do you get it?"
"Ah, you get tired so soon!! Look at us, even at this age,we are more active than you".
"What additional you do?? than just going to office."
Hmm I felt the ladies in pain had a point. But is there a solution ?? A minor discussion over such topics at home will lead to nothing but more mess. Is it not ?
I couldnot help and stopped thinking about it. Trully wondering if this problem can be really solved.
It was like any other day at office and we friends were meeting each other at cafeteria for tea, after a long time. I could see Shruti being quiet at the gossip session and I could not stop but ask the reason for being one. She said she was upset about her manager's behaviour towards her.
I asked "What's his problem?". Shruti said her Manager is a Lady.
I said "This should be more helpful to you then, as being a woman she can understand your concerns better".
Shruti's reply to me was really strange "That's the problem !! She is a lady and doesn't want to understand my problems. My manager always compare her capabilities to mine and keeps on saying :"
"I stretch back at office for work, leaving my family, why cant you do ?"
"I struggled to reach this position, why can't other women do ?"
"I left my children, back home and travelled onsite for an year, why cant you do?"
"I worked till last day of my pregnancy , why cant you do ?"
This is upsetting !! Shruti said. How can two people's capabilities be compared? Her situations are different. Her stamina is different.
Our lives are totally different!! Why a comparison then ?? And why should I also suffer, just beacause she has ?
Hmm I felt Shruti has a point !! Even I have noticed many elderly working MILs comparing things to their working DILs and saying :
"We would get up at 5 o clock, cook for whole family a 3 time meal, pack tiffins, go office and work. Come back and serve the family again. And you gals get so tired without even doing anything !!".
Again my brain went for a buzz and I felt is there really a solution to this problem of "COMPARISON OF CAPABILITIES" ?? I opened a debate amongst my gang of gals at office. All these younger women had something or the other to complain about silly comparisons being made. Looked like this was pushing their morale and capabilities down than helping them rise..
Interstingly !! I also realised that all of these MILs think completely opposite when it comes to their daughters. I found certain facts on how a mother feels and thinks for her daughter:
"I suffered to raise kids, wish my daughter doesn't have to go through all that in her life".
"I worked full time at office without any support back home. I wish my daughter gets all support to manage both house and work with least efforts"
"My darling daughter has to travel onsite, I wish the company provides a travel for her family also"
"I wish I could be with my grand children, so that my daughter can focus well on her work"
I was upset for a week to find how much we "the woman" is "Biased". Biased, at home, biased at work. As the week was nearing to end, I could see that I had all threads of this problem in my hand but, no ending knots of solution. These threads are still mysteriosly open looking for ends. Why cant I, a woman help another woman ??
Understand her problem?? Think of her wellbeing like I do for my own daughter?? Is there a "woman" in me alive but a "Mother" in me half dead?? Why cant we simply stop being "Biased" ??
I wish every day, all women get up with a thought of doing something better to make life easier for another woman.
I wish every day, each working woman, full of confidence in self, looks into mirror and promise to help "the lady", she works with and make her life better.
I wish that every woman on this earth does more, achieve more and ofcourse "Give more!! to another woman"
A request from a Woman to a Woman !! Please help thy lady !! | |
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