AruN
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Join date : 2012-01-26
 |  Subject: ~~How to Shower like Woman or Man~~  Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:23 pm | |
| How to Shower like Woman or Man How to shower like a woman
TAKE off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Remembering all the balneological tips you have read about at some length, wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower. Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower. Treat mould spots with shower cleaner. Get out of shower and stand on bathmat. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to shower like a man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Swagger to bathroom. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Wash your hair. Make a shampoo mohawk. Dry off forearms and backside only.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire physique in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. Throw wet towel on bed. | |
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